#7: The Mythical Pursuit of "The One"

How you know it's meant to be, my mom's Korean chicken rice porridge recipe, and my current favorite $26 earrings.

Without fail, every time I do a Q&A on my Instagram Stories, I get some iteration of, “I’ve been dating this guy for a couple years now. He’s great, but how do I know if he’s THE one?”

PS this (along with most these issues) is a long one, you may have to click “view in entire message” in your email to see the complete newsletter.

Two immediate questions always come to mind:

1) What, exactly, is *the one* and 2) Why do we doggedly seek this kind of confirmation?

The first— you can tackle this label that’s shrouded in such mystique in so many different ways. What is the one?

The one that you feel is your soulmate (if you believe in that type of thing) that you were meant to meet on this planet?

The one that you can have a fulfilling life partnership full of adventures with?

The one that is the perfect co-pilot in living habits, life planning, and domestic partnership?

The one you can confide all your dreams and feelings to?

The one you can do absolutely nothing with, but still have it be an enjoyable time?

The one whose interest and hobbies align with yours?

The one that you can see yourself co-parenting with?

The one you want to combine genetics with to be inextricably tied together to forever, in some way?

The one who knows all your needs and desires without you asking?

The one that makes you feel a way that no other living person you’ve ever met does (this could be in a bad way, too)?

The one that you can feel okay about wiping your butt when you’re 90 and maybe unable to do it yourself?

The one that the sight of lights your body on fire in ways you don’t consciously understand?