#16: Are They Goals or Idealized Versions of Self?

Do you actually want your goals, or are they an idealized version of yourself?

A couple of months ago, a neighbor of ours gave us some fresh passionfruit from her passionfruit vine growing in her front yard. It’s one of my favorite fruits, so immediately after tossing them in our fruit bowl, I googled, “how to grow passionfruit from seed.” As I read the surprisingly simple steps, I told myself I’d make sure to save a few seeds to start the germination process. Then, I told myself I’d finally maybe get a small raised bed to put in the backyard to grow some basic herbs, so I’d stop paying a ridiculous $3 for a tiny bunch of chives.

Fast-forward a couple of months, guess who has beautiful passionfruit vine in their yard?

My neighbor (still)— not me!

---

Just about this time 2 years ago, we were gearing up to move from our Brooklyn apartment to the house in California we were just about to close on. As we tucked our soon-to-be useless coats into moving boxes, I began fantasizing about what my daily life would be like in California. I daydreamed of my weekly farmer’s market trips (where I’d get to know all my local vendors, obviously), the frequent hikes we’d do with Benny, and the raised beds in our backyard in which I’d cultivate fresh vegetables that the SoCal sun would generously nurture.

My life, as of January 4th 2024:

Like a true millennial, I mostly shop at Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods (part of this is thanks to the economy and grocery prices, yikes). Benny is the laziest walker known to the genus of dogs, and I can count on both hands the amount of hikes I’ve done in LA. The closest thing to a raised bed we have in our backyard is the patio chair adorning our deck, where I drink my passionfruit-less margaritas.